Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Nuts On Trucks?

I'm driving to work after lunch the other day, and there they were...Dangling in front of me...Testicles hanging from the trailer hitch of pickup truck.

The website that sells these scrotal ornaments have them in red, chrome, orange, pink, flesh, black, fireball, gold, silver, blue, green, white...You get the picture. Here is part of the description from a website that sells them:

These are probably the most popular type of truck nut on the market today. They have veins and wrinkles, and one nut hangs just a little lower. They're made of solid polypropylene and weigh about a pound. The color is all the way through on this item, so it won't scratch off.

Color won't scratch off! Innovation! This means that prior versions of these phony plums had negative customer feedback travel back to the bogus-ball-making labs for improvements. I would really hate that if my truck nuts lost their fleshy luster. People might not think they were real and ruin my truck-nutting experience. What would happen if I dangled purple pygmy nads from my laptop at Starbucks? Are there any other types of human anatomy going into rubbery production soon? Hood-jugz?

It's all fun and games until the government hears their voting constituents chirping about these evil doers. Forget the primaries. It turns out there are senators across the land right now trying to ban these rubber man-berries. It's nuts.

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